Talking to children and teens about sharing nude photos and videos
Speaking regularly with young people about the possible risks of sharing nude or sexually explicit photos and videos (called sexting) might help prevent problems, such as an image being shared without permission. It’s best to address this issue calmly and revisit the topic regularly.
If your child or teen tells you that they have received or sent a nude or sexually explicit photo or video, react calmly and focus on what support and help they need from you. Recognise the courage it has taken for your child to come to you, and offer assurance that everything will be OK. Then work with your child to minimise any potential harm.
Note: If your child is using a device logged in to a child Apple Account, the device blurs photos or videos that may contain nudity in selected Apple apps. Children under 13 need parental permission to view them. Discuss this function with them and what they should do if they see a blurred photo or video.
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- Explain that photos and videos showing private body parts should not be shared.
- Encourage your child to come to you if they receive any photo or video that is blurred or that makes them feel uncomfortable.
- If your child comes to you with an inappropriate photo or video or you see it on their device, react calmly and discuss why you feel the photo or video may be inappropriate. Thank your child for bringing this to your attention or discussing it honestly with you.
- While curiosity about bodies can be normal, consider consulting a mental health professional if your child exhibits repeated or excessive interest in nudity and sexuality.
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- A 2023 Thorn study found that 17 per cent of teens reported they had shared nudes, while about 20 per cent of 9- to 17-year-olds reported being shown or sent nude images of someone else without that person’s consent.
- Teens need to be aware that there are criminals who pose as teens offering to exchange nude or sexually explicit photos or videos. The criminals then use these photos or videos for sexual extortion (sextortion) by threatening to post or distribute them unless the victim complies with demands. Make sure your teen knows that they can come to you for any reason and that you will support them.
- If you become aware of your teen either receiving or sending nude photos or videos, be calm and try to determine the circumstances. If the photo or video was unsolicited, it can be upsetting for the teen and could be the result of bullying or harassment.
- Sometimes nude photos or videos are shared under pressure. In other cases, recipients may share them without the sender’s consent. If the sharing is non-consensual — or if an adult is involved — consider contacting law enforcement.
- Gently talk with your teen about the risks of sending or receiving nude photos or videos, such as the recipient someday deliberately or accidentally sharing them, which could result in embarrassment, bullying or other harm.
- It’s important to reassure young people that, as embarrassing as it might be if the photos or videos are distributed, it’s not the end of the world. There are people, including you, who can help them, and it will be OK.
Helping kids and teens navigate gory or violent content on their devices
Gory and violent photos or videos that may be blurred include disturbing or graphic depictions of violence, injury, death or cruelty towards people — whether real or fictional.
Kids and teens use their devices to explore, learn and connect — but sometimes they may encounter images or videos that are violent, graphic or disturbing. If your child is using a device logged in to a child Apple Account, the device blurs photos or videos that may contain gore and violence in selected Apple apps and displays a warning to help protect them. Children under 13 need parental permission to view the images. Importantly, Apple can’t access these images — this happens entirely on the device. Discuss this function with them and what they should do if they see a blurred photo or video.
Kids and teens may receive or share this type of content unintentionally or without realising its impact. For teens in particular, context matters. Disturbing content might be shared to raise awareness of real-world issues or to shock, provoke, and even harass or threaten.
The goal of blurring this content is to give teens a moment to pause and make thoughtful choices, and for parents of younger children to protect their child from viewing disturbing content.
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Seeing violent or graphic content can have an emotional impact. How a young person responds can vary widely based on their age, maturity and sensitivity. Some kids may feel anxious, depressed or overwhelmed. Others might have nightmares, experience trouble sleeping or become withdrawn. Over time, frequent exposure can also reduce empathy or increase fear or risky behaviour.
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The most powerful thing you can do is talk with your child. Open, judgement-free conversations go a long way in helping them process what they see and know they’re not alone.
Try to:
- Stay calm and supportive. Start with questions like “Have you ever seen anything online that upset you?” or “What do you think when you see something violent?” and respond with curiosity rather than judgement. Avoid lecturing, and don’t press for every detail since revisiting the content can increase distress.
- Share your own experience with upsetting media (if relevant and age appropriate) and how you handled it.
- Make sure they know how to block or report people or content they don’t want to interact with.
- Create an “exit plan” together. Help your child know what to do if they see something upsetting online, such as closing the app, muting or blocking the source, and coming to you or another trusted person. Remind them it’s OK to step away and take care of their emotional wellbeing.
- Report serious concerns. Threats, coercion or violence should be reported to school officials or law enforcement and, when appropriate, to Apple.
Most importantly, reassure your child that they can come to you without fear of getting in trouble. These conversations help build trust, resilience and confidence.
And if you notice signs of lasting distress, such as changes in sleep, mood, appetite or behaviour, don’t hesitate to reach out to a mental health professional. You’re not alone in supporting your child as they navigate the digital world.
Learn more about online safety
Tips to help your children stay safe online
Keeping children’s and teens’ online activities safe and positive.
To stay safe online:
- You know your child better than anyone else. What works for some children doesn’t work for others, depending on age, maturity level and other factors.
- Express interest in the apps your child uses and the sites they visit. Get to know your child’s favourite apps and games so you can understand the platform, its privacy settings and why your child likes it.
- Communication is the key. Make it a conversation, not a lecture, and reassure your child that they can come to you if they experience any problems. Let them know that you won’t overreact and that protecting them is more important than punishing them.
- Talk to your child about security and privacy and the importance of using strong and unique passwords and other authentication tools, such as Touch ID and Face ID.
- Make sure young people understand that there are risks with certain online behaviours like sharing nudes, including bullying, misinformation and harm to their reputation. The conversation can be short, but you should revisit it periodically. Reassure them that if something bad happens, you will be there to help.
- Consider using tools like Screen Time to monitor and manage your child’s device use. Talk to your child about the tools you use and why you’re using them. This will help them develop the ability to use technology responsibly now and in the future. Revisit these tools as your child matures.
Grooming and sextortion
Identifying grooming and sextortion, and talking to children and teens about them.
Grooming and sextortion are two related forms of online sexual exploitation:
- Grooming is a tactic abusers use to build relationships with young people so they can manipulate, exploit and hurt them. Abusers may befriend a child to gradually gain their trust with the intention of abusing them.
- Sextortion occurs when someone threatens to share intimate images or videos unless the victim complies with demands such as sending money, sending more images or providing sexual favours.
People who abuse and exploit children are often patient, persistent and good at manipulation. Sometimes people who exploit young people online know them in person.
Sextortion and grooming are against the law in most countries. If your child is being targeted, reach out to law enforcement and support services.
Protect young people by having age-appropriate conversations with them about grooming and sextortion. Assure your child that if someone is grooming or extorting from them, it’s not their fault. If someone is pressuring, threatening or forcing them to send an image with nudity, gore or violent content, they don’t have to comply. Help is available.
Open communication is vital. Protecting young people from grooming and sextortion is an ongoing process to help them develop their warning systems and feel comfortable alerting you if something goes wrong.
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Although these signs are not necessarily linked to grooming, parents may want to observe whether their child:
- Is secretive about what they’re doing online.
- Quickly turns off, hides or closes a device when someone walks into the room.
- Has unexplained gifts, money, drugs, alcohol or other things of value.
- Is online late at night or at odd hours.
- Seems upset, depressed, angry or afraid.
Check in with your child to see if anyone online:
- Offers them gifts.
- Talks about romance, love or sex.
- Sends or requests nude or sexually explicit photos or videos.
- Engages them in highly personal conversations.
- Asks them to keep secrets.
- Attempts to isolate them from family or friends.
- Asks them to continue a conversation on a different platform.
If your child tells you they have experienced any of these behaviours, reassure them that it’s not their fault.
Talking to children and teens about grooming
Regardless of their age, the best way to know if a child is being groomed online and to prevent potential harm is to talk with them.
- Check in regularly with your child or teen about their online experiences.
- Have age-appropriate conversations about grooming in ways that do not instil fear.
- Promise not to get angry if they tell you about something bad or if they’ve made a mistake. Groomers rely on fear of punishment to prevent young people from reporting abuse.
- Agree on rules and boundaries together, including when it is and isn’t OK to engage online with people they don’t know. Consider using tools like Screen Time to help supervise your child’s use of technology.
- Make sure your child knows how to report people and how to block or mute accounts in the apps they use.
- Talk about online safety and privacy practices and settings.
- Make sure your child understands what personal information should and should not be shared online and why.
- Help your child distinguish between positive interactions and ones that might be problematic or dangerous. Let them know that if anyone makes them feel uncomfortable for any reason, they can come to you for help.
Talking to a young child about grooming:
- Use correct names for body parts, and explain which body parts are private and why.
- Discourage any communication with people they don’t know.
- Talk about the difference between OK secrets, like not telling someone about a surprise party, and bad secrets, like not telling a trusted adult when they feel scared or threatened.
Talking to an older child about grooming:
- Remind your child that some people online may not be who they say they are.
- Practise having them tell you something difficult. Praise them for telling you, and let them know you will help them.
Talking to a teen about grooming:
- Remind them that not everyone is who they say they are or has their best interest in mind.
- Recognise that teens may have an interest in exploring sexuality, but let them know they can come to you if they encounter anything threatening or potentially dangerous.
- Remind them that they have the power to ignore, report and block anyone who makes them uncomfortable.
- Explain that anything they share online can be copied and shared with others, either accidentally or on purpose.
Remember: You know your child best. How you address tough topics should depend on your child’s age, maturity level and other factors, including their vulnerability and emotional state.
They may be reluctant to talk about online relationships and may not be aware that they are being groomed. Assure them that if someone is grooming them, it’s not their fault.
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Although these are not necessarily signs of sextortion, parents may want to observe whether their child:
- Is secretive about what they’re doing online.
- Asks for money or gift cards without explanation, or money disappears from wallets or accounts.
- Has unexplained mood changes or seems depressed, angry or afraid.
Talking to children and teens about sextortion:
- Teens and older children need to be aware that there are criminals offering to exchange nude or sexually explicit photos or videos.
- Explain that these people are not who they say they are, and the images are probably not of themselves.
- Let them know that criminals may threaten to post nude or intimate photos or videos unless they are given money, more images or sexual acts.
- Tell them not to send money or comply with demands. Paying often encourages continued exploitation. Sometimes they move on to other victims even if they’re not paid.
What parents should do if a child is targeted or victimised:
- Save threatening messages in case they’re needed by law enforcement.
- Report the situation to local law enforcement and, if appropriate, school or work officials.
- Block the perpetrator and review device safety settings using Apple’s Safety Check.
- Explore the Personal Safety User Guide, which offers strategies for strengthening digital safety and cutting ties with unsafe contacts.
- Reassure your child that while the situation may feel overwhelming, help is available and they will get through it.
- Encourage open communication with you, another trusted adult or a support helpline.
- Connect your child with support services, such as helplines or victim support organisations. (See the bottom of the page for resources.)
Above all, remind your child that this is not their fault, and they don’t have to face it alone.
Dealing with cyberbullying
How to identify it and help your child or teen.
Cyberbullying is bullying that occurs on digital devices like phones, computers and tablets. It can occur via text, messaging apps, chat, email, online games, social media, live-streaming, photos and videos. Bullying is typically defined as aggressive and repeated verbal or physical abuse where there is an imbalance of power, but any form of harassment, including insults, threats, impersonation, spreading rumours, and exclusion, can have a similarly negative impact. Imagery containing nudity, gore or violence can be used to bully. Cyberbullying often happens alongside physical bullying in school or the community. According to a 2022 Pew Research Center study, “Nearly half of US teens have been bullied or harassed online.”
It isn’t always obvious that a child is being cyberbullied, and they may not tell you. Although not necessarily signs of cyberbullying, pay close attention if your child has difficulty sleeping; doesn’t want to go to school; exhibits a decreased sense of self-worth; or demonstrates changes in online habits, such as constantly checking social media accounts or avoiding their devices when you are present.
Any child can be cyberbullied, but some children are more vulnerable than others, including members of marginalised groups such as racial or religious minorities, kids with disabilities, LGBTQ+ youth, or anyone who looks or acts different.
Frequent, brief conversations with your child about their online experiences can help foster a relationship where they are more likely to come to you if they experience cyberbullying. It’s also important for your child to understand that if it happens to them, it’s not their fault, and there are people who can help them get through it.
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- Be calm, don’t overreact and don’t blame them. It’s usually not helpful to take away their devices.
- Start by listening. Find out what happened and how it made your child feel. Be supportive.
- If someone sends an inappropriate image or content that makes your child uncomfortable, you can advise your child not to respond.
- Encourage your child to use tools like blocking or muting the account and reporting the content to the platform where the incident occurred.
- Discuss strategies to end the cyberbullying, and think about how you can help your child heal and increase resilience.
- Include your child in discussions and plans for solutions. Cyberbullying often results in a loss of control over a social situation, and involving your child helps to overcome that.
- When in doubt, get help from a teacher, counsellor or other expert.
- Sometimes parents can make things worse by responding publicly. Responses should be well thought out.
- If the person who is cyberbullying your child is also a child, work with parents and school authorities to address the child’s behaviour.
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Take it seriously. Cyberbullying may indicate that a child is in distress and could lead to even more serious problems. Before establishing a consequence for the behaviour, find out why the child is being mean or acting aggressively.
Underlying causes vary but may include:
- Trying to fit in with a peer group that is engaging in cyberbullying.
- Experiencing anxiety, anger, depression, lack of control, frustration or stress.
- Being cyberbullied themselves.
- Feeling a need to be in control.
- Looking for attention from others.
- Not fully understanding the negative impact of cyberbullying behaviour.
If your child is cyberbullying others, parents and other trusted adults can:
- Find out what is going on with the child to try to determine why the cyberbullying is taking place. Consider the child’s emotional state, peer group and other factors.
- Talk with the child and explain how cyberbullying can negatively affect others and themselves and why it is not appropriate. Let them know about the importance of kindness and empathy and how they impact others.
- Consider speaking to a school counsellor or other professional for advice and strategies.
- Let them know that there are consequences for cyberbullying.
- Brainstorm ways the child can make amends with the person they hurt.
Get emotional and mental health support
Need to connect with a trained counsellor right away? The Film and Publication Board, in partnership with Child-Line Gauteng, provides 24/7 toll-free professional assistance for anyone needing support.
Report
You can talk through any problem about your child or teen with a confidential trained counsellor 24/7.
Report to Apple
You can report certain photos and videos and the person who shared them to Apple. Where available, return to the Apple app where the blurred image appeared and use the Report to Apple button on the intervention screen to send a report to Apple.